Apparently, we can now purchase magical unicorn rides from Groupon Malaysia! What? What do you mean unicorns don’t exist? Yes they do. They’re all located at Ulu Yam.
Trudge on barefoot to briefings regarding unicorn temperaments, riding and history in psychedelic dreams as conducted by fairy god mother guides with up to five centuries of experience. Despite common reduction to myths and theatrical ponies, USA imported unicorns welcome mortal riders through scenic greenery and streams of dreams also known as Sungai Ulu Yam. While lone rangers are encouraged to brave nature and choir animals on bare backs, magic pumpkins are available for romancers or curfew chasing princesses. Suitable for all ages, sparkling stallions and magical mares return to starting points by sundown before galloping away into rainbows leading to fairytales and bank bags.
In the event of bad weather, unicorns will be replaced with party hat-wearing horses. Management reserves the rights to replace unicorns with uniforms, unicycles or universities.
From as low as RM9,000,000, the Groupon buyer will be able to enjoy a full day of unicorn-back riding with unicorns imported from USA. There’s also the option of choosing magic pumpkin carriages for pairs – or for those who are running late. The rides will even be guided with a fairy godmother with up to five centuries of experience!
Oh, yes. Groupon buyers who wish to combine their Groupons can do so for doublecorns or triplecorns. Problem? Call “The Horse Whisperers” at 03-5555 5five55.
Good times!
Now, excuse us while we run off to pass out from laughing.